Dirty Little Secret
by with eyes looking up
Summary: It was possibly the most random thing that had ever happened to her. AkatsukiSakura, crack. Reviews are welcomed and loved. Finally, chapter six up! Hidan&Kakuzu.
1. Zetsu

**Dirty Little Secret**

**ZetsuSaku, crack**

-

-

-

-

-

-

It was possibly the most random thing that had ever happened to her.

As Sakura walked back home from a long day at the hospital, she never would have anticipated the vines that suddenly shot up from the ground and dragged her, kicking and screaming, into an alley. They wrapped securely around her wrists and ankles, snaking up around her thighs and encasing her in the smell of plant. Unfortunately she was on the empty section of the village, so her yelps of panic were heard by only the birds and mice.

Exhausted as she was, she slumped in hopes that the mutant vines would take pity on her. "Come on, I just want to go home!" she groaned out loud, and there was a chuckle. Her eyes widened in alarm as a body melted out of the ground directly in front of her.

"_Mother fucker_," she sighed, letting her head fall back against the wall at the sight of red clouds against a black background. "I'm not dealing with this right now!"

Zetsu, eyes and ears of the Akatsuki, grinned at her and she cringed at the rows upon rows of sharp, carnivorous teeth. Why did this always happen to her? She was prepared to voice this question aloud, when suddenly Zetsu leaned forward. Her narrowed eyes widened dramatically as he pressed their lips together, and she choked back a gasp of alarm. What in the name of God was going on?!

It was a second later when she realized what the worst part about kissing an Akatsuki member was: the body had no morals. Therefore, Sakura was immediately kissing him back eagerly. His tongue made a quick swipe at her lower lip and she groaned, parting her lips slightly. His hand came up to grab her hair and he pressed them together closely, other hand bracing them on the wall by her head.

And then it was over. The vines receded back into the ground quickly, and with a quick pinch to her ass, Zetsu was gone. Dazed, Sakura remained leaning against the wall in an effort to catch her breath as one thing ran through her mind. And that was _damn, he is a good kisser._ She had time to be ashamed for that thought later.

Shaking her head in wonder the pinkette gathered herself, patting down her hair, and continued her way home as if nothing had happened, hoping her cheeks weren't as red as she thought they were.

--

"Did you do it?" Kisame grinned not an hour later, Deidara next to him snorting in laughter. Itachi was perched on the kitchen counter, staring at them all and wondering how this had even started.

Zetsu nodded with a slow grin.

"Ya use tongue?"

The grin was replaced with a smug smirk and he nodded.

Deidara burst into laughter; Kisame snorted, handing over a fistful of paper money. "If you were such a truthful person, Zetsu, I really wouldn't believe you. I can't believe you did it."

"Well I did."

"_She's a damn good kisser, too."_

The room was filled with laughter as Zetsu pocketed his money, gave a nod, and melted into the floor.

--

For the life of her, Sakura couldn't figure out why a letter filled with a stack of money appeared on her dresser the next morning. That is, until she say the note inside: _Here's your half. Its Kisame's turn next. _And even though the prospect of seeing (kissing) Hoshigaki Kisame in the near future should have made her alarmed or scared, the only thought on her mind was, _I wonder if he's as good as Zetsu. _And then after that, _We'll just have to see. _Because really, who could say they got away with kissing two Akatsuki members? It would be their own dirty little secret.

She liked the sound of that; with a lopsided grin she grabbed the envelope and pranced from the house to find Ino.

They had some shopping to do.

-

-

-

-

-

-

**Hey, guys. I'm going to start posting a steady stream of fics from now on. Or that's my goal, at least. Like, every three or four days. My goal is at least 90 before the end of next year. Anyways, carry on. :D**

**I had to do it. Can you say crack?**

**Haha, comments would be love. :)**


	2. Kisame

**Dirty Little Secret **

**Part Two: Kisame**

-

-

-

-

-

-

Sakura had never known what the word "awkward" entailed. Sure, there were times when she had nothing to say, or when she was embarrassed, but it was never…awkward. She was far too (annoying) happy for that. But now…she thought she'd figured it out.

"Sakura-chan," _he_ grinned, leaning against a tree, "I've heard some… interesting…things about you." Her gazed locked on the jagged bones jutting from his gums in curiosity - were they really as sharp as they seemed to be? Zetsu's were completely normal once she'd…er…_examined_ them – as she thought of a witty comeback. All that came to mind were utterly pathetic, so she settled for defense.

"Oh?" she questioned, hand never leaving her kunai pouch. Kisame Hoshigaki straightened, hand on his sword and the grin waxed on to his lips.

"We're fighting, are we?" he questioned, mockingly, and Sakura smiled sweetly.

"That's what enemies generally do, Hoshigaki-san. I know you're not too bright, but…"

His lips twisted into a half-grimace, half-smile, as if he wanted nothing better in the world then to rip her in half, then put her right back together and pretend he didn't do it. Sakura's expression didn't falter, but the slight shift of his foot – right, just an unnoticeable inch – had her instantly on alert.

When Sakura's team had met up with Kisame and his buddies, there was a fight that had the mice scurrying. For some reason (…ahem) Kisame had separated both himself and Sakura from the group, effectively cutting her off on both radio transmitter and interaction with her team.

Which was bad, because now he was starting to stare at her as if she was some sort of prize money. (And remembering Zetsu, she probably was.) Awkwardly – yup, it was true…she was feeling awkward now – she shifted and tore her gaze away, thinking of a plan to get back to her friends. Kisame mimicked her steps, causing her to stop and furrow her brows.

He grinned. Again. "…three…"

Her eyes narrowed; what was he doing?

His grip on Samahada tightened. "…two…" His eyes peered at her, shining with something that made a shiver run up her spine. "…one."

She waited. Nothing happened. Scowling, she ground out an annoyed, "Kisa-", but before she was able to finish, the ground beside her exploded with such a lack of sound it made her ears pop. Hurriedly she darted to hide, throwing a barrage of kunai toward where she'd seen Kisame last. The smoke cleared slowly and she watched from behind a small outcrop of rocks, eyes scanning the forest floor for the hidden Akatsuki. Patiently she spun a kunai on her finger, crouched and ready to pounce.

"Kunoichi."

Suddenly she was trapped. The rock behind her back halted any actions of retreat and Samahada pointed at her face made it hard to do anything but stare. She began to feel her chakra seeping away from her and cursed, gathering as much power as she could to her foot and stomping on the ground. The explosion wasn't as big as she'd liked, but it was enough to make Kisame stumble in surprise, momentarily losing his footing. Sakura began to make her escape but for whatever reason she paused, frowning. Kisame cursed, straightening, and then she was fighting against his tight hold, yelping.

"Get off of me, you giant brute!" she yelled in frustration, stomping on the doppelganger's foot fruitlessly as the real Kisame sauntered over, grin in place once again.

"You shouldn't underestimate the enemy, Sakura-chan," he told her, drawing up to his full height before her. (She gulped quietly; he was _really, really_ tall.) His gaze locked onto hers and for a moment she saw that shining in them again. Her fists trembled as she answered.

"I- I didn't. I was thinking."

"Oh?" he taunted, smirking. "About what, pray tell?"

"…uhh…" Sakura fought against the blush valiantly and, in the end, failed. She felt her cheeks brighten in embarrassment. "…stuff?"

The doppelganger holding her disappeared but she hardly noticed, closing her eyes involuntarily at Kisame's hands cupping her cheeks. She absently felt his thumbs stroke high on her cheekbones and swallowed dryly, holding fast to his cloak in fear of her legs giving out. Honestly, they shouldn't be doing this to her…she was a growing teen with raging hormones. It was just cruel. "Kisame-san…please don't…" she whispered, voice pitifully weak. He chuckled, breath ghosting across her face. (She noticed with satisfaction he didn't smell like fish at all…a bit on the cinnamon side, though. Which wasn't entirely unpleasant.)

"Yes, Sakura-chan?" he murmured, and she felt his lips touch hers briefly, teasingly. She gulped, trying to pull him closer- it was like trying to move a boulder without chakra. (Which was precisely what was happening…throughout the entire ordeal she'd felt Samahada slowly stealing the chakra from her reserves, but paid no attention.)

"Stop it," she growled in annoyance, eyes closing as she tried to reach him. She felt him shake in laughter.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Her eyes peeled open dangerously, half lipped. "Shut up and kiss me, asshole."

Suddenly, his lips were on hers and her back was to the rocks behind her. His hands searched her fleetingly, never lingering, and slipping up her shirt. His sand-paper feel of his coarse fingers sent goose bumps along her flesh and she shivered, gasping slightly. He bit down softly on her lower lip- she allowed him entrance gladly.

A blur of shouting and cursing later, she was behind a growling Naruto and Kisame was smirking at her from the rocks- on the other side of the clearing. "Beat it, Gills," Naruto growled angrily as she looked around in confusion, dazed. Kakashi placed a hand on her shoulder and she saw Sai's eyes narrow not far off.

Kisame chuckled. "Like I haven't heard that one before, brat." He tilted his chin up in amusement, leaning on Samahada and making a hand sign. "Thanks for the entertainment, princess." He winked, making her scowl, and disappeared with a poof.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto immediately questioned, whirling around to face her. "Did he hurt you? That freakin' asshole- I'll kill him for touching you like that! The nerve-!"

She smiled, patting his cheek in amusement. "Naruto, thanks but I'm fine. I just let my guard down is all."

She tried not to see Kakashi's suspicious look as they left to return to the Leaf, casting one more glance at where Kisame had been.

--

Lo and behold, a small amount of money was on her dresser the next morning (she didn't stop to think about how they continued to sneak in and out of the village) and a note with surprisingly neat handwriting.

_Zetsu was right. You're a damn good kisser. I've heard rumors about who's next, but you'll have to figure it out yourself. Wish it was me again. (And if you can't tell, I'm laughing at your expense. Enjoy._

_- "Gills"_

And with a laugh, she left to shower, pondering who would be next and dispelling the haunting feeling that had taken residence in her heart.

It was just a kiss, after all.

-

-

-

-

-

-

**Alright, I know there's a crapload of problems with this. I know Sakura would never betray her village so blatantly, and I know that Akatsuki would never do something along these lines. But whatever- this fic is totally for my own enjoyment and the readers' as well.**

**I will go throughout the entire Akatsuki, including Konan. (Gasp!) If you have any ideas or scenarios, PM me, or put it in your review and I'll credit you. :)**

**Oh right. And Sakura is not a whore for you haters. She's currently my favorite female character on the entire show, and I pair her with everyone. (So in a way, I guess she is a whore. A pairing-whore. But same difference!)**

**Tell me what you think. :D**


	3. Deidara

-

-

**Dirty Little Secret**

**Part Three: Deidara**

-

-

-

-

"For God's sake, can't this wait?" Sakura groaned, burying her face into her pillow. She was exhausted from the day's endless streams of missions and dinner with her team, and all she wanted to do was sleep the rest of the week away. "I just want some freaking sleep!"

There was quiet laughter above her, and she glared up at the Akatsuki watching her with a smirk. He was handsome - fair skinned, blue eyes and blond hair in a long half-ponytail. He was tall and lean and just as she turned to face him fully, he was straddling her. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she held back a squeal of surprise.

"So, yeah," he grinned, "I'm Deidara."

His voice was deep and rich, and she felt a blush dust her cheeks, averting her eyes. "Hello, Deidara. Can this please wait? I'm really tired tonight and-…"

Her statement was cut of as his lips touched hers softly, with a gentleness that surprised her. Sakura took the time he was kissing her to examine him curiously as his eyes slid closed. Up close, his skin was smooth- far too smooth for a man. His lips were like velvet, and his eye lashes were long and full. Half of her was jealous, and the other was suspicious. When he sat up a little to breathe, elbows on either side of her head, and blinked.

"Hey, Deidara? I have a question." She stated, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Shoot, yeah."

"Does kissing you mean I'm a lesbian? Because you kind of remind me of my best friend and that's kind of weird…since she's a girl." She told him honestly, and surprisingly, he smirked.

"Is your best friend sexy? Because if so, I'll take that as a compliment, yeah." He grinned down at her, and she grimaced.

"That's lovely. Just what I should suspect, I suppose."

"You didn't answer me~"

She laughed softly. "There's a reason for that."

He leaned down and placed soft kisses along her jawbone. "I don't suppose," he murmured quietly, "that you go any farther than this." He sounded hopeful, and she sighed.

"Deidara…" she gulped as his breath ghosted over her ear, "…that would be too far. And I'm not just a common whore."

She heard him sigh as he pulled back. "I know you're not. Honestly, yeah, I do. You're not the type to whore yourself out, I can tell. It's just…" he shrugged and smiled down at her, "it's kind of nice."

She blinked up at him, confused. "What is?"

Deidara chuckled. "That you don't have any set expectations, you know? Anything can happen at any given moment, yeah. You don't care that we come and go, you just…" he paused, "…you just _do_."

Softly, she smiled; Deidara kind of reminded her of Naruto. "And that's a good thing?" she questioned curiously. He grinned brightly, and lowered his head to kiss her once more. Against her lips there was breathy laughter.

"In my book? Definitely, yeah."

Sakura didn't get much sleep that night.

-

-

-

-

She woke the next morning to flowers on her bedside table and a note clasped in the beak of a clay bird. Yawning, she took the note and opened it, blankets pooling around her waist as her eyes scanned the clumsy penmanship.

'_Sakura, love,_' it read, and she quirked a smile, '_You are a very heavy sleeper. I hope the flowers make up for…well…yeah. There's coffee ready and chocolate too, if you're still not happy. I'm still glad I came, though, even if you're mad._

_-xoxo, Sexy'_

Sakura stared at the paper in confusion.

It took all of thirty seconds to realize her top half was entirely nude and little bite marks marred her pale skin from her waist up. Anger flared momentarily, until she noticed the flowers again. Slowly, she calmed and laughed slightly in amusement.

Shivering at the early morning cold, she slipped on one of her baggy t-shirts before going into the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of coffee. She sat at the table with a sigh and stared out the window, thinking about Deidara. He was very sweet, perverseness unaccounted, and she almost had enjoyed his company. Sakura knew that she was beginning to dig herself a very deep grave, but she found that she didn't want to do anything to stop it. There was a part that had remained hidden inside of her that had now taken over and urged her to continue with this. You'd been cooped up in the safety of Leaf's rules for far too long, it said, just relax. Nothing will happen.

"Sakura, yeah."

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts at the voice in her ear and the hands rubbing slow circles into her shoulders. Momentarily she panicked, confused. "Deidara?"

"Yeah," he murmured, lifting his hands and sitting opposite of her. He looked worried. "We need to talk, yeah."

She set down her cup, brows furrowed. "What's wrong?"

Deidara glanced out the window nervously, then back at her. "Okay, listen. There's a guy coming to visit you. His name's Tobi, yeah. He comes off as a nice guy – stupid, but nice. Until he doesn't get what he wants. Sakura, yeah, please be careful. This guy is not someone you want to toy with. I saw him once," his voice lowered, and she stared with wide eyes, "he didn't know I was watching, but I got back early just in time to see him snap some guy's neck like a _twig_. I'm dead serious about this. I don't want to see you hurt, Sakura."

For a long time Sakura didn't move, touched. "Deidara…" she whispered, "you came back here just to tell me that?"

He looked away, eyes lowered in embarrassment. "Well…yeah. I have to go, though." He stood, and she followed suit awkwardly. He smiled lightly at her and she bit her lip.

"Thank you, Deidara," she whispered, and kissed him lightly. He cracked a grin.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven, yeah?"

She slapped his arm lightly, forcing a smile. "I guess. Now, get outta here before we _both_ get busted."

He flashed another grin, pressed his lips to her cheek, and was gone. Sakura looked around, shivered, and sat back down.

Idly, she wondered if this was such a good idea, after all.

-

-

-

-

**There you go, folks. Plot line!!**

**I know, amazing. **

**Reviews make me write. :)**


	4. Madara & Tobi

-

-

**Dirty Little Secret**

**Part Four: Madara / Tobi**

-

-

-

-

Haruno Sakura sighed in relief, lowering her tired body into the warm water of her bath. Her sore muscles immediately went lax as the tension drained away, and she marveled at how uptight she'd been as the water reached just below her neck, lapping at her skin. "Jeez, Sakura," she muttered as she let her head lie against the linoleum, "you need to get some alone time or something. You're starting to feel like a log or...yeah."

She sighed and cleared her mind…or, at least- tried to. Deidara's warning was the thing concerning her most at this point. It had been a week since he'd come back to tell her about the Tobi person, and still no word. Sakura sunk lower into the water uneasily: the thing of it was, though, that she'd been feeling _watched_ since last week. Everywhere she went, she would catch a glimpse of a black cloak and before she could turn, it would be gone. She would be alone in the house, and things would move- her keys, her books, the remote.

It was beginning to freak her out, especially since she couldn't do anything about it.

Sighing, Sakura began to wash away the dirt and grime and tried to think of happier things. Like…Naruto?

Sakura laughed quietly, remembering just why they had the rest of the day off for missions. They'd been helping out a local famer with fertilizing his fields when Naruto did something incredibly stupid. Sakura had been talking with the farmer idly, smiling, when all the sudden Naruto screamed. They both turned to see him dancing around, limbs flying, around the field.

"_Naruto?!" Sakura exclaimed in alarm._

"_GET IT OFF GETITOFFGETITOFFFFF!!!"_

"_Get what off??!"_

"_THE MOUSE! GET IT AWAAAYYY!!" he screamed, and turned sharply. Suddenly, time froze as he began to fall, and Sakura couldn't help her roaring laughter as he collapsed into a pool of manure. The farmer groaned behind them. _

"_Owwwww~" Naruto groaned, sitting up. Sakura bent down to pick up the mouse scrambling away and tried to restrain her giggles. _

"_Is this what you were afraid of?" she wondered, making him glare._

"_Shut up, Sakura."_

_It was then the farmer dismissed them, and Tsunade began her tirade on Naruto's idiocy, giving them the rest of the day off in case they 'were to mess up anything else, you asshole!' _

Sakura smiled, looking down at the water. She pouted at the lack of bubbles and then immediately shivered when she realized the water had turned icy-cold. Goosebumps popped up along her flesh as she quickly stood, wrapping a towel around herself and towel drying her hair messily. She looked around for her clothes and with a curse, she found that she'd forgotten them in her room in a haste to be clean. Running her fingers through her hair, she opened the door before refolding her towel and unabashedly flashing her empty apartment in the process as she started for her room. She was halfway down the hall when suddenly something caught her eye, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Hi!" was the chipper voice that greeted her from her bedroom door.

Sakura's eyes narrowed in alarm at the man leaning leisurely against her door. So this was Tobi? Quickly she checked to make sure her towel was secure and a flash of red graced her when she realized she'd indirectly given her guest a perfect view of her…nudity. Embarrassed beyond belief and a little nervous, she nodded.

"…hi," she finally allowed, remembering Deidara's warning as she started towards him slowly. In front of him, she cleared her throat and swallowed dryly. "E-excuse me," she muttered, "I need to get my clo-"

"No need." Was the new, smoother voice that answered her. No longer was it childish, but mature and full of authority. It sent panicked shivers down her spine as his chakra began to leak from him, seeping into her skin and making her legs shake unsteadily. Desperately she held her towel to her, staring at him with wide eyes as her mind began to conjure just what his words entailed.

"W-what?" she mouthed, thoughts once again returning to Deidara's urgent warning.

("_I don't want to see you hurt, Sakura_.")

Tobi chuckled and slowly began to advance on her. The sheer intensity of his one eyed gaze had her back to the wall in moments, trapped. His gloved hand came up to brush away a strand of drying hair from her forehead and at the contact, Sakura felt her knees give out. With his touch came the spark of chakra that immediately had her limbs feeling as if her bones had been replaced by jelly, and if she hadn't had the wall to her back, she would have fallen. "Please," she tried, wanting him to stop touching her like he was when she was so vulnerable like this, "please stop, I can't-"

A soft hiss escaped his lips, hushing her. He took her shaking hands from where they were melded to her chest, forcing them up to the edges of his mask. Her fingers twitched as she tried to fight him away but his grip remained, harder, helping her to hold and remove the mask slowly. It took what seemed like a lifetime to slip it off and as it did, inch by inch, flashing a smug smirk with a scarred left side, Sakura felt herself lose control. "Stop!" she yelped as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push him away. He only laughed darkly, pressing her against the wallpaper with his body and removing the plaster himself, forcing her to look at him.

"Open your eyes, Sakura," he commanded softly, and she did just that. Whether or not it was voluntarily, when she opened her eyes, her own gasp filled her ears in the quiet of her apartment.

"You're-!" she began to scream, desperate for someone to help her, when suddenly she was being forced to the wall and he was _touching her and his lips were against her with a bruising force and she was kissing Uchiha supposed-to-be-dead Madara!_ Now she knew why Deidara had tried to make his warning so clear.

"We don't want anyone to hear, now do we?" he murmured in her ears as he paused to catch his breath, hand covering her mouth. Sakura's frightened eyes peered up at him pleadingly, but he only laughed. "Don't worry, dear, I won't-…" he stopped, looking down at her blankly, "-now that was entirely uncalled for, Sakura."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Fmp dph if gamen!"

He pulled away his hand, examining the bite mark surreptitiously. "Pardon?"

"I said: and I'll do it again!" she growled, and he laughed in amusement.

"Fiery, aren't you?"

Her face turned an embarrassed shade of pink, and he guessed that would it be any other person, she would have hit them. Hard. "God damn you, let me-!" But instead of listening to her demands, he grabbed her hips, slammed her into the wall hard enough to daze her, and smashed his lips to hers once again roughly. He felt chakra gather in her fists a moment later and grasped her wrists, holding them well above her head. She screamed into his mouth in fury, aiming to kick, but his knee between her legs quickly halted her movements. His mouth continued to ravish her throughout the entire ordeal and after a while he felt her go limp beneath him. She fell against him, waited for it to be over, hoping it would go no further.

He seemed to sense her ultimate defeat because he pulled away just then, tracing her lip with his thumb. He smirked. "Smart girl," he murmured.

Slowly, she shook her head with her eyes screwed shut. "No," she whispered, "I'm not." It went quiet as his presence left her, and she opened her eyes. He was watching her thoughtfully, arms folded across his chest. They stared at each other for a few long moments. Then-

"I think you lost something, Sakura-_chan_."

And he smirked, disappearing, just before the wall behind him exploded with the force of her chakra-induced punch. "Damn you!" se screamed, face apple red as she hurried to go into her bedroom. Somewhere far away there was a laugh, and then all was quiet.

-

-

-

-

**Holy crap, dudes. I'm uber sorry this took so long to get out!! I'm not allowed on during the week, and…yeah, basically I have no excuse. Sorry. **

**El-oh-el.**

**Anyway. **

**Don't know when the next one is coming out. I'll tell you now, though, it'll be a while. It's both Hidan and Kakazu together, and I have a basic outline but not much. I'm also trying to get my grades up, so it'll be hard. I promise nothing. **

**But if you review, it would totally give me some incentive to get my ass in gear. :)**


	5. Sasori

**SASORI**

**xSakura**

**-**

_long overdue. i'm sorry, guys. i feel really detached from my writing right now. i can't concentrate._

--

His fingers were gentle against the nap of her neck as he caressed; his lips at her ear had her on edge instantly, in a good kind of way. She felt his palm brush her lower back and shivered gently. The moon was full and bright, sending bucketfuls of illumination into her hotel room, and yet she still couldn't see him. If she so wished, she knew she would be able to, but she didn't. Her face pressed tiredly into her pillow as she tried to withhold a moan of pleasure.

He chuckled above her, oddly familiar but fuzzy in her contentment. The room was silent beyond that, almost eerily quiet. His hands molded and pressed on her shoulders and back, relieving the stress of the last few weeks.

_Very talent hands. _

She did her mental checklist, for the hundredth time that night. Zetsu had been first, followed by Kisame and the ever-almost-loveable Deidara. Last had been Madara slash Tobi slash whatever the hell his name was, and that was little more than two weeks ago. Now it was this guy, but she didn't know who. The thought of Itachi, straddling her back and giving her a massage, made her smile ironically. She'd rather not find out.

Unfortunately, he had other plans.

"Sakura-san," he murmured quietly into the darkness. Her eyes opened slowly; she stared at the wall drowsily.

"What?"

He stood, and the bed creaked. She didn't bother to roll over. There was a shuffle of him slipping on his sandals. "Do you know who I am?"

"Not a clue," she yawned. "Someone who could get me into trouble with the Elders, I presume." She wondered just what changed to make her so indifferent about the entire ordeal.

"You're correct," he chuckled quietly. His fingers play her hair once again. "_I'm sure you know…I don't like to be kept waiting._"

Suddenly, in a blur of anger and strategy and pain, she knew. No longer was she relaxed, but tensed and stiff against the mattress as his hand fit snugly against the base of her neck. Her breathing turned ragged and heavy, throat bobbing in her effort to swallow. "Sasori…" she muttered to the mattress. His opposite hand slid down the plateau of her back.

"Yes, Haruno?"

"I thought-…" her breath caught, "…I thought I killed you."

"My display was convincing enough, I suppose?" he let her go, standing idly at the bedside. Almost immediately she sat up, rubbing her neck and glaring up at the smirking face. He looked handsome and childish and _alive_ as ever, much to her displeasure. He leaned down, hands straddling her sides and rubbing his nose against her cheek lightly. She shivered, but didn't move. "Good."

"No-…you should be…" she was at a loss. He pulled back to examine her calmly, smirk gone.

"Dead, yes. There are things, though, beyond your control, Sakura-san. This is one of those things." He stood straight after retrieving his cloak from behind her, draped over the headboard.

"I can control it! This can stop anytime I want- it…what?" She didn't like the look he was giving her. "I can! I can go to Tsunade…"

"And tell her what? Would you tell her that it was all in good fun? Would you say it was just a fling – just something stupid and inconsequential that she need not pay attention to? You're not able to get out of this one, Sakura. It's_ out of your control_." His arms slipped comfortably into the sleeves of his cloak as he studied her.

"Go-…" she had to swallow, "…go to hell."

He pressed his lips to hers once, chastely, and cupped her cheek. His eyes bored into hers in grim amusement. "I'll see you there."

"Sasori-!"

But he was gone.

"…fuck."

--

_this shouldn't even qualify as a chapter. the first version was two times longer, but after countless deletions that weren't all my doing, i gave up and just decided to post something. i know i said it was hidan/kakuzu's turn, but i lied. NOW they're next, don't worry. and i'm working on it now. god, i feel like such a loser today. :( sorry about the lame ending. _


	6. Hidan & Kakuzu

**hidan ++ kakuzu**

**xSakura**

**(warning: excessive cursing)**

**--**

_so let's hope this chapter is better, eh? sorry for the uber long delay…there was computer-crashage and laziness. my bad. _

--

"Oh, Sakura-san! I hope your stay will be satisfactory…your Hokage has done _so_ much for us and we're happy to oblige to _any _of her – and your - wishes!" the grubby little man – Tenji, he'd told her - at Sakura's side gushed, showing her quickly and efficiently to her room. "Just say the word and you'll have it!"

Damn Tsunade; she certainly did not need this much pampering. "Uh, thanks. I'll call if I need anything."

"Anything at all!" he chimed, and promptly disappeared down the hall. She shook her head in wonder at the small man's energy, and trekked slowly into the lavish room. Immediately she pulled out her mission scroll, did the hand seals to open it, and sat heavily on the bed to read.

'_Sakura-_

_Decided you needed a rest. You look like crap. Enjoy the hot springs, Tenji will be happy to get you anything you need. Smile!_

_Oh, and if I see you inside those gates before the week is up, I'll personally see you to the job of paper-pusher. Right along Kotetsu and Izumo. Enjoy._

_- Godaime Hokage Tsunade Sannin'_

Sakura slowly, begrudgingly, brightened at the thought of relaxation. No Akatsuki, no paperwork, no missions. Just her and a nice, long, warm bath. A lot of them. This was going to be _perfect_. With this thought in mind, she collapsed backwards on the bed and prepared herself for the longest nap of her life.

--

"Hello, Tenji. I was just on my way to the baths. Any rules I should follow?" Sakura questioned upon encountering the smallish man in the hallway. He beamed up at her.

"Nope! I know a girl like you wouldn't do anything bad, so it's all good! Just have fun!" She smiled, waved, and continued down the hall. She held an extra towel in her hand, swinging it as she trekked her way down to the bathhouse. Upon reaching the door, she paused and grimaced. _Ugh, really?_

Joined Baths. Ew. Sakura sighed, held to her robe a little tighter, and strode inside. Immediately she was surrounded by half naked men and women, making her grimace. It's not like she wasn't used to it from her days at the hospital, but when – oh. Oh god, he is NOT running around naked. That's gross. She carefully controlled her expression after sending the naked silver-haired man a disapproving look, going to the furthest corner of the room to undress. Whilst wrapping the large, fluffy towel around her, she shivered at the feeling of eyes boring into her back.

Not bothering to look back, she fled – calmly – to the baths.

--

Thirty minutes later found Haruno Sakura, eyes closed, at the furthest end of the baths. She paid no attention to the small groups at the other end, drifting in and out of consciousness and smiling contentedly to herself. It had been a long while since she could relax, and she was definitely going to take advantage of this small vacation.

She sunk lower into the waters, lying her head against the side of the huge tub. A sot sigh escaped her, lost in the chatter of the others. In moments, she was napping.

--

"Hidan, don't do it."

"Shut the hell up. I'm just going to wake the bitch up…it's not safe to fall asleep in a pool- you could fuckin' drown."

"She's going to kill you."

"Didn't kill the others."

"She wasn't asleep with the others, and if I do recall, they weren't _naked_."

"Whatever. They're just fuckin' pansies."

"Hidan…"

Sakura woke to the not-so-pleasant feeling of something attacking her mouth. Her eyes snapped open, a gasp engulfing her as Hidan of Akatsuki grinned back at her. Suddenly, something was in her mouth. She yelped, lashing out and sent him flying across to the opposite wall. "Arg- pervert!" she spit, glaring viciously.

"I told you." The only other person in the now-empty bathhouse sighed at her side, annoyed. "You're such an idiot."

"Shut the hell up!"

She turned tensely to who she realized was Kakuzu, partner of the man she just sent flying. Sinking lower into the water, she scowled at them. "I can't even be left alone on vacation?"

He gave her a blank look. Hidan splashed in behind her. "Hey," he laughed, "we were here first. We just found you here, about to drown."

She growled in annoyance, crossing her arms above her chest and sent Hidan a heated look. "Eyes up here, asshole. And that's _not fair_. I'm supposed to be relaxing – how can I do that with you two here?"

Hidan gave her a lecherous look, paddling closer. "I can make you fuckin' relax. Seriously."

She held a hand out. "Go no farther. I will _castrate_ you." He stopped immediately, pondering the idea, and grimaced. She smirked and turned to the more sensible of the two with a raised eyebrow. "When, exactly, are you leaving? Because I want relaxation, not waiting for douchebag over there to jump me." A jerked thumb had Hidan grunting in protest.

"You'll like it – seriously."

"Somehow, I doubt that." She paused, frowning. "…._what is that_?!"

"We're leaving tomorrow," Kakuzu told her innocently, keeping his eyes on the water. She paled at the thick black tendrils wrapping themselves firmly around her wrists. Her feet, already rooted to place, were of no help when Hidan drew closer with a very, very devious smirk. He chuckled at her expression.

"Shit…didn't think I'd pass up _this_ opportunity, did you?"

"I was hoping," she deadpanned in returned. "Now kindly free me before I kick your goddamned ass."

"That's all Kakuzu, bitch." he pressed himself against her, which in turn, had her eyes narrowing to slits. "And it's a paid job, so he's not letting up, cause I haven't paid him the damn money yet."

"You'd better," came the annoyed hiss behind her. She growled, attempting to lash out.

"Yeah, yeah." he smirked down at her. "But first…" And before a single threat could make itself known, she found his lips pressed disturbingly against her own as his hand cradled the back of her neck. She strained against the thread-like ropes around her limbs, trying to at _least _knee him or something. Unfortunately he saw it coming, and placed an uncomfortable hand on her thigh restrictingly. Stilling, she just rolled her eyes to the ceiling and waited for him to finish.

A few moments later, he pulled away and she yelped at a sudden palm where it wasn't wanted. "Get your hand _off my ass_."

He chuckled in obvious amusement. "Sure, sure. Jesus, you're such a prude."

She growled threateningly, and turned to glare at Kakuzu. "No let me go. Or would you like a go?" (Sarcasm, thy name is Sakura.) He narrowed his eyes, and reluctantly let her go with a wary, stiff posture. She sunk lower into the water, scowling. "Now go away."

They stared blankly.

She narrowed her own. "Fine!" Casting a quick genjutsu, she scrambled out and hurried to the changing rooms, cursing her luck. A few moments later she was fully dressed and Hidan let out a string of complaints in the next room.

"That's not fair, you little bitch!"

--

"I can't even go to a damn resort without them following me!" she groaned into her pillow later, sighing. Hours earlier she'd returned to her suite with hurried footsteps, firmly locking the door behind her. Since then she'd opened the door once – only for her dinner, sitting uneaten at the desk, slowly cooling. Since then she'd had no appetite, and settle for groaning into her pillow. "Not even fair…at least the other one didn't….bleh."

"Should I take offense to that?"

Squealing in alarm – was she losing her touch or was it the bath soaps? – Sakura flailed and dived to the other side of the bed, pointing a violent finger at the amused Kakuzu. "You! Get out!!" He looked very comfortable, actually; his fingers tucked gently between the pages of a novel, legs crossed leisurely, chin balanced in hand. His eyes, green-bloodshot red, watched her from the chair next to the bed.

"I'm merely seeking solace, Sakura-san."

"I'll show you solace if you don't get the hell out of my suite, you bastard. I'm _tired_ of you guys invading my damn personal privacy!!" she stormed past him, aiming for the door, and stopped with a violent shiver as his fingers on her wrist.

"Wait. I'm only reading – I can only deal with Hidan so much, and he doesn't know where we are."

She wasn't sure if that was suppose to scare or console her. She swallowed in thought, glanced at the door, and pried her arm away. "…fine. But touch me again, and I'll cut of your-"

"I get it." his tone was dry, and he promptly returned to his book in silence. With as much caution as a feral cat, she returned to her spot on the bed and eyed him warily. Minutes past this way, and yet he seemed unaffected. She relaxed slightly, turning her eyes briefly to the window. By the time she returned her gaze, he was gone. Eyes narrowing in alarm, she stiffened and looked around quickly. "Why so tense, Sakura-san…?" a whisper sounded at her neck, sending shivers along her spine.

She swallowed thickly. "What did I say about touching me."

"But," he chuckled softly, "I'm not touching you."

Unable to argue, she remained silent and turned her head to watch him from the corner of her eye. His hand was hovering just above her hair as if frozen, and his eyes were locked on hers painfully. She winced and looked away, but a brush of his hand on her chin had her peering into his eyes once again. Somewhere someone said something about touching, and then he'd pulled away. Alarmed to find herself dangling in midair as in wait, she hastily retreated.

"It seems," he pondered, "that I'm growing too fond of you." He fingers the mask at his cheek, eyebrows furrowed. She hesitated, then stood. Instantly his eyes alighted upon hers, almost curious.

"Kakuzu…your mask. What's…?" she got close enough to brush fingers with the silk-cloth before he'd jerked away.

"Nothing of your concern, Sakura-san." He quickly placed a small bag in her hand and glanced down into her eyes, lowering his voice. "You don't want to see." And then he was gone, and the open door blared at her, achingly loud.

--

The next morning was spent in both reverence and dread at meeting up with the two infamous Akatsuki members of before. She snuck to breakfast and back to her room, and did the same with the bathhouse, sticking to the shadows to avoid being seen. In the changing room, she tried not to look at anyone in particular and wrapped the large towel around herself, folding her clothes neatly.

"Ho-hum," she murmured to herself quietly, "they're gone."

Suddenly the hairs raised threateningly on the back of her neck. She looked up and paused in complete surprise. In the doorway stood Kakuzu, watching her with glittering emerald marbles, pensive. His bag was slung over one shoulder, and he didn't bother to cross the threshold. She moved toward him automatically, almost magnetically, and stared up at him. "I thought you left…?" she muttered, one hand holding onto the knot of her towel. He brushed a lock of hair from her eyes absently, nodding.

"We're on the way out. I just…" he stopped shirt, looked at her with a new light in his eyes. She smiled and stood on tip-toe, one hand cradling the back of his neck.

"I know." Her lips met the silken cloth lightly, just a slight pause that made his entire body stiffen and relax in the same moment. They both watched one another, without words, as he pulled back. The chatter of conversation roared around them, but she paid no heed.

Suddenly, he chuckled. "I thought you said no touching?"

"I did," she nodded with a smile, "but I thought that might be necessary." They gazed at one another long moment; he finally nodded and turned away, all business once again.

"'Pleasure, Sakura-san," he murmured, walking toward his grinning partner.

She clutched the towel just a bit tighter and tried not to smile. "It's all mine."

--

_the bag he gave her was the money, btw. the bet money? yes. that's it. :) _

_check the profile for updates and don't forget to review! :D_


End file.
